Garage Sale Season is On!

Now that garage sale season is in full swing I feel that, as a devotee, I must make some comments.

I am always puzzled by particular items that seem to be a staple at nearly every sale. For instance, there’s always a card table covered with a variety of mugs. In my own collection I have a mug from the 2006 PRSA convention, a Dodger’s mug, 2 Cubs mugs, any number of mismatched Christmas mugs that were originally given to me filled with Hershey’s kisses or Reese’s miniatures or the like, several “souvenir” mugs from vacations (either my own or relatives’ who felt they needed to bring me back a memento), and mugs commemorating things like my high school graduation (Trojans, 1988), Jeff’s employee appreciation day in 2002, and the 2004 Steelcase shareholders’ meeting. So, what I absolutely do not need to do is spend even 25 cents on strangers’ mugs celebrating their various conventions, favorite sports’ teams, Christmas gifts they received with candy inside, graduations (high school, college or grad school…not their children’s either), vacations, etc. Does anyone? Is there anyone in the entire greater Grand Rapids area who feels what they are really short on is random, mismatched mugs? And no, Goodwill doesn’t want them either because even the poorest, neediest person probably already has more than enough mugs. There should be some kind of melting pot where we could all take our old mugs to be melted down and re-made to commemorate future events requiring a cheap give-away.

Don’t ever be lulled into purchasing any “as seen on TV” exercise equipment at full price. I guarantee that every Saturday you will come across dozens of people happy to unload the gazelle, thigh-master, ab-roller, ab-lounge, door gym, or stamina body dome they made three easy payments to obtain and then used once.

Are you grossed out by your own torn, sweat-stained, misshapen work-out tees? Fear not! You can replace them with the dozens you will find at every garage sale featuring the rips, sweat and stretch-marks of strangers! And you can usually get each one for only .25-$1 (hey, you have to pay a premium for torn, sweaty, stretched-out “designer” tees).

Boy, what I would give to have access to the wit, wisdom, advice, chicken soup, and blessings that were compiled into books I threw out that were specifically aimed at graduates, mothers-to-be, fathers-to-be, golfers, grandmothers, new parents, home-schooling parents, parents of scholar athletes, parents of strong-willed children, parents of lazy children, parents of wild children, parents of children you want to grow “God’s Way”, single parents, only children, children of alcoholics, co-dependent spouses, spouses with no “love language”, etc. But wait…one stroll down a street participating in a neighborhood garage sale and you will amply restock your supply. I can’t believe people are getting rid of these! Don’t they still have a need for wit, wisdom, advice, blessings and chicken soup? I know I still do.

If I could were the Garage Sale Czar for the city of Grand Rapids, I would:

1-demand respect. Come on….do you really think that I, your customer, am so low and desperate that I want to paw through your unsorted piles of crap? At least show me the courtesy of putting up a few tables, sorting your items, pricing them…making some effort at merchandising. If you just dump your stuff on a table for me to dig through, I will feel your disdain and move on. I mean, I do have my standards.
2-forbid garbage. Again, do you really think that ANYONE wants your a) half-filled and cracked snow globe, b) old tee shirts (see notes above), c) used underwear (I can’t bear to say more…even if they were from Victoria’s Secret), d) puzzles missing pieces, e) rusty spoons, f) teal stiletto pumps from 1985, g) crock pot missing the crock, h) used make-up, or i) half-filled bottle of lotion? Sadly, I could have gone on and on. Gross.
3-insist pets be confined in some way. Do you really expect me to concentrate on making purchases when your mutt is sniffing my rear? That’s an immediate walk-away.
4-forbid overcharging. Your paperbacks are not worth $5 each just because they were “only read once.” Your child’s old boots are not worth $10 just because they were originally bought at Macy’s. No one in their right mind is going to pay $20 for a used fondue set. You’re just embarrassing yourself and wasting my time.

All that said…I can feel it in the air…garage sale season is back on…and the deals, deals, deals, deals, deals await!!

My best deal so far is 3 books I bought last week. My boss Deb and I have been desperately looking for copies of the book that Steelcase produced in celebration of its 75th anniversary. We were down to our last copy and couldn’t find any more anywhere. It seemed a little scary to be the corporate communications department and down to our last book. Can you believe I came across 3 of these books, still in their wraps and boxes, for $3? I love it. Where else but at a garage sale?