Thursday Highlights - November 29, 2007

Well, today started bright and early at about 2 a.m. with Jeff attempting to cough up a lung. The old “dry, hacking cough” was not only frustrating Jeff – but was shaking our bed like an earthquake and keeping me from my own sweet sleep. I tried handing him a lozenge, but no dice. He finally struggled out to the living room to just sleep on the sofa. “Oh, I’m so sorry! Oh poor you…you have to leave and go to thezzzzzzzzzzz” I was filled with compassion.

Morning started again with my alarm and I hopped out of bed, eager to get to my breakfast meeting with my friend Lisa. We planned to meet at Real Food Café. All that stood between me and some steaming hot coffee and conversation was getting myself and little boy ready to go. Fairly easy for me…a little more complicated for him. But, he showed a good appetite today, wolfing down some yogurt and applesauce with a big glass of milk. He seemed to be in good spirits too….smiling and laughing and ready for the day. I felt bad as I squeezed a teaspoon of his anti-biotic into his waiting, eager, innocent mouth...it’s such a strong prescription it is wrecking havoc with his digestive system. The things I’ve seen and cleaned up and that have run down his leg are too grisly to report here. And yet, we just keep giving him more! I feel like, “Open up Langston….time for your diarrhea!” Well, I got him fed and popped back into bed so that Jeff could get him dressed and off to daycare. We felt hopeful when we heard some grunting from the crib…perhaps if it was taking a little effort to expel the package, it wouldn’t be quite so soupy…I later found out that our assumption was incorrect…Jeff confirmed that it was indeed a nasty watery mess so bad that Jeff himself ended up having to change his own shirt!

Well, after a lovely pecan and cherry pancake and aforementioned steaming coffee and lovely conversation, I headed into work.

Once at work I was just on fire! I was a cleaning machine! I decided to clean out my workstation and files. Basically, this just means tossing into the trash all the things I thought someone might want from me at some point…I realized that I typically immediately throw away materials that hordes of people want the very next day and keep materials that no one ever wants to see again. Sigh. But, it’s clean, clean, clean!

I even found a very special storage location for my award for completing the company’s “mission critical leadership curriculum.” At a “special ceremony” at my desk (the day before Thanksgiving, 2 co-workers present and jeering) my boss presented me with this precious memento commemorating my program completion. I was able to choose my gift and all were amazed that I chose the ginormous calculator/clock/calendar combo with the huge Steelcase logo. Oh, and it’s missing one of the rubber feet, so it also wobbles. And beeps with every button you push. What they didn’t see were the 2 other lovely items I could have chosen….a lapel pin (for those of you attending the Rotary Club in 1978) and a clock/business card holder combo for my desktop. Because people are constantly wandering up to my desk looking for the time and/or my business card. It really was the least of the evils. My one co-worker, who has 2 classes yet to go before “graduation”, said that the gift selection had actually demotivated him to complete the program.

Then I broke down and bought a 20 ounce diet Coke for a meeting. Can you believe that thing was $1.50!!! I hate the man.

Lunch was chili at the Learning Center. Yum yum. I also had a chocolate chip brownie. OK, so I was weak! It just looked so good sitting there…and I had a free meal card so I didn’t even have to pay for it…the man owed me one for the diet Coke.

After lunch I cruised over to Employee Sales to pick up my 2 chairs (for me) and desk (for my sister). It was blissful to just pop the seats out of the mini-van and glory in all the open space. This would be one time in the 7 years that I have been stuffing items into cars that Paul, the Employee Sales merchandise loader, would not repeat, “That’s NEVER gonna fit in there!” over and over (while I forced it all in anyway). And Paul didn’t say it wasn’t gonna fit. And it all did.

Meeting…blah blah blah…gale force winds at the CDC….drive back to HQ….blah blah blah…one more call…and now it’s 4:51! Gotta love that.

Tuesday Highlights, November 13, 2007

Since I have a few minutes I figured I would catch up on my highlights. OK, they’re not Thursday highlights – but I can’t vouch for what Thursday or Friday is going to look like…or, for that matter, even today…which is why it’s Tuesday highlights. Bear with me here….I’m sitting in the Santa Monica showroom biding my time until my PR presentation to the West Coast sales team at 4:00. It’s presently 11:15. Hence, the available time to contemplate highlights.

Tuesday morning started off crazy. Jeff had taken his car into Honda the previous night because of some kind of gripping or clutching…and not in a good way. So, we had one car between all of us which meant we all had to be ready to leave at the same time…and a little bit early to compensate for all the ferrying around. I got up early enough to pack my back for California and get myself ready. Although, I would find out later that I apparently did not have enough time to pack my toothbrush…for the second trip in a row! What is wrong with me? Why so forgetful of my teeth? Anyhow, Jeff was a gamer and got little boy all dressed and ready to go. He also sprayed down the boy’s bed-head hair and slicked it down. Which looked hilarious…sort of like a Swedish Alfalfa…but I digress. Even though I had plenty of time to pack, get ready myself, forget my toothbrush, and smooch Langston, I still found myself running around like a maniac and leaving the house later than planned. That seems to always be the case.

Anyhow, as we drove down the road I realized that I had forgotten my sunglasses (I would say “also” forgotten, but I wouldn’t find out until later that night about the toothbrush thing, so for now, it was just one known lapse of memory) and had to squint in agony at the sun directly in my face. How does the sun know how to always be just below the rear view mirror and completely out of the reach of the flip down shade? It’s just maddening.

Langston was given this “American Idol” hot pink microphone that plays an extremely appealing (sarcasm my friend) 2 measures of “funk” that loops when you press the button. Langston is in love with this item. His face literally beams with joy when it is handed to him. And believe me, you will get tired of the funky rhythms far, far sooner than he will tire of pushing that button. Anyhow, we hadn’t noticed but it had gotten pretty quiet back there. Jeff turned to look and cracked up…apparently the microphone is also a sucker! The little darling had figured out how to take off the top and was greedily scarfing down some kind of deadly strawberry sucker that was who knows how old. Nice. Joy turned to sorrow as it was promptly taken away. How could we be so cruel?

But, when I dropped Jeff off at work he ran inside and taped it all up and returned it to literal squeals of unbridled joy. Sometimes being a parent you get the privilege of making another human being so happy – really unable to contain their pleasure. I don’t get that feeling too much in my other roles.

Anyhow, after dropping Jeff at work and Langston at daycare (he’s now in the toddler room – how did that happen?) I made it into work.

I knew there would be a bit of a firestorm awaiting me. It was the day of the Diversity Forum at work. This is an internal meeting for leaders to inspire them to action around diverse issues and inclusion. Let’s just say that a lot of things had been put off to the last minute on this and the whole team was really starting to feel the pressure. I had a thin line of sweat already at my hairline and I was just walking in the door. We had to do a technical run-through with the technical team…then a full walk-through with the presenters…then make sure the stage was set correctly and we had all the mikes we would need…and get the registration tables set up (I’ve never seen such heinously ugly name tags – just all CAP names on a ginormous white sticker…blech) including name tags, books that were being given out, magazines that were also being handed out, and the event booklet. And that booklet was the source of my angst.

The agenda, speaker bios, last year’s updates, etc. were all to be provided attendees in this super cool attendee booklet. Remember the old “last minute” thing – well, we still didn’t have the booklets. After the 5th person came and asked me if the booklets had arrived and after the 3rd time that one person in particular had asked, I just about lost my grip! Auugghhh! Where are those stupid books??? After my third call to the design firm who had created the books I got a firm drop-off time of 12:30…and the event was due to begin at 1:00. Gulp.

Well, of course the booklets arrived, of course the sound and technology went fine, of course the box lunches were in the room for the speakers as planned, of course the program got started late, and with all crises averted I was able to head off for the airport.

The plane out from Grand Rapids was brand new! It was so nice…I was in the exit row and almost had TOO much legroom!! I could barely reach my bag. But I was not complaining.

Arrived in Minneapolis and walked about 14 miles to the next gate, bought a bag of pita chips and had a pretty easy time of it to L.A. But I always forget how pickin long it takes to get there. The flight from Minneapolis was almost 4 hours and it felt like every minute of it. Probably especially for my row-mates when I started chomping on those chips.

Got a cab pretty easily to the hotel and $50 later I was checking into the Huntley. What a beautiful hotel. And I felt like I fit right in wearing my yoga pants and sweatshirt…they probably thought I was a celebrity on the down-low. I get that a lot. While I was checking in I think I may have had a celebrity sighting. But it is unconfirmed because I couldn’t recognize anyone. All I know is that a little gaggle of about 5 impossibly thin, ridiculously blond, fantastically sparkly and mini-skirted young chicks came in the back way, with some paparazzi in tow, and headed straight for a special elevator. While I gawked, the desk clerk tried to ask me a couple of pertinent questions…after saying “huh?” distractedly twice as I tried to identify a famous person, he was kind of like, “listen up, sweatshirt, I don’t have the time for this…put the binoculars away and deal.”

Then I indulged in a very rare treat…since it was almost nine at this point I went ahead and just ordered room service. There’s really nothing more wonderful than noshing on a chicken sandwich, sitting on a down comforter-covered bed while wearing your pajamas, as ocean breezes blow in through the open window, and you watch Bones on TV. It was quite spectacular.

After some fruitless web surfing and finishing the puffy-shirt episode of Senfeld, I pulled the covers up and went to sleep – realizing that I would likely be waking up again before dawn. Which I did.

Thursday Highlights - November 1, 2007 edition

Well, I wish that I had a better day to share my stories…if I had my act together earlier I could have talked about my family vacation to Disneyworld (I don’t think that I would recommend a big trip to Disney as the ideal family vacation with a 1 year old) or my exciting adventure in New York City (launching our new product, the Walkstation, on national TV on Good Morning America)…even my crazy drive home from Chicago at 2:30 in the morning (got home at 6:30) would have been more engaging than the report of today’s activities you are about to read…but I press on regardless.

I do have to back up just a little bit to last night. I had just gotten home from Trick-or-Treating with Langston (who was a huge big sport even though he was baking like a potato in his very well-insulated costume and kept getting wedged into his car seat as we drove from stop to stop) and after tucking him in bed I decided to call my parents and give them an update. Well, I was super cold for some reason – so I changed into my comfy clothes and started the call…well, I added an afghan…and then my fuzzy sox…and then another blanket…and I was still just one massive goose bump. When I started physically shaking and chattering I rung off. I called to Jeff who brought me a heating pad cranked up to “high” and yet I still could not get warm. This, of course, is very unlike me who finds a way to work up a sweat in the dead of winter. But, anyway…I went right to be with a fever of 101.5 under about 8” of blankets.

Now it’s this morning. The phone ringing actually woke me up. It was 9:15 and my boss was asking if I was going to make it to our 9:30 meeting. Oops. Still pretty achy – definitely sweaty -- not ready for work at all. I took my time getting ready…pausing to pop into the USA Network Law & Order: Criminal Intent marathon and watch the last 30 minutes of an episode. I only ever watch that show in re-runs, but it gets me every time! With my hair almost dry I called my friend Tina for lunch. Her birthday was yesterday and it had been forever since we talked.

So, our favorite place, the Red Geranium at 11:30 it was. It seemed a serendipitous choice when I saw that their special of the day was tomato soup…um, add a half grilled cheese to that and I’m in heaven! I wish that I had my full appetite back to really enjoy it…but, it was pretty tasty nonetheless. I also love stopping in at the Red Geranium because they have the Advance community newspaper there and I love the crossword puzzles in that paper, so I took the opportunity to snag one for later.

While there, our waitress gave me a catalog for some gourmet food party thing she “hosts” – is that really a legit thing to do when you are waitressing somewhere? I don’t know. I left the catalog on the table. Jeesh.

Then back at work where I tried to catch up on some things for our Diversity Forum, sending out emails to a bunch of people asking if they’d be willing to be voice-over talent for a part of the presentation and got many “witty” replies…including a guy who wonders if he can do his in the voice of Howard Cosell…everybody’s a comedian.

And fever or no (I’m not sure if I still have one) I am ROASTING!!! Shirt sticking to me…hands sweating…internal oven throwing out flames…I think I’ll go home early.

Well, I’m off to pick up my stuff at the dry cleaners (I had a coupon that expired yesterday so I made a mad dash to the 24-hour martinizing place to make use of my $5 off before it was too late) and then home to toss Jeff’s meatloaf in the oven. For some reason he felt compelled last night to make a meatloaf for dinner tonight. When contemplating a meal choice to whip together I can’t say that meatloaf is the first thing I’d think of…but, whatever floats your boat. I also think it shows that I did not truly have the flu because if you can make it through the smell of frying onions and not barf, you must not be sick.

Finally, the day will wrap up with a Bible study at our house tonight. It is my turn to lead and this group is about to be wowed with insights into John 2. Woo hoo!

Monday Highlights, Kind of, October 15, 2007

Well, it has been one of those weeks…weeks where all of a sudden it’s Saturday and I remember it didn’t even cross my mind on Thursday to send out some highlights. It’s been one of those weeks where I look around my house in quiet despair, not even knowing where to begin to get things restored to some kind of order. I settled for asking Jeff to please, please, please take the fans that have populated our non-air conditioned home all summer, downstairs. He looked at me like, THIS is the thing you want me to do? This is the best ya got? In my current frazzled condition – yes.

It’s times like this that I think of the characteristics I see in other women and wish I possessed.

A “STYLE.” I don’t think that Tim Gunn would consider someone digging through piles at Goodwill and Value City…or, if it’s a really special occasion, Marshall’s, really pursuing “style.” Neither do I. Every season I think, this is it…this is the season that I get my act together and finally develop a wardrobe that adheres to some rule of fashion. As opposed to the one rule I am currently following – cheap. Well, I’ve taken a big first step: I have gone through my closets and given away 3 giant garbage bags full of clothes to Good will (a certain kind of “circle of life” don’t you think?) and now have not much more than empty hangers clanging around in my closet. So, first step done…next step means budgeting some money to refill it…and then, the critical step, not immediately repopulating the closet with crap. That’s the part where I always seem to drop the ball. POSSIBILITY OF ATTAINING: 65%

THE FEMININE ARTS. I have a friend who cans. I have a sister-in-law who cans. I have a mother-in-law who cans. I don’t can. I have never canned. I think I once made freezer jam, but that was like at least a decade ago. What could be a better example of providing beautiful things for my family than lovingly canning delicious foods? I can just picture the scenario…fall leaves blowing past the window…a fire crackling in the fireplace…a pot roast in the oven…and I say, “Hey honey, would you hop downstairs to the cellar (of course it couldn’t be a basement) and grab a jar of applesauce?” I feel like I may be further from accomplishing this than the wardrobe thing. I mean, it’s a struggle for me to get the casserole (um…not even a pot roast) in the oven instead of stopping for take-out on the way home. I feel I’m doomed to failure in this and it’s best to commit it to fantasy. But, whenever I hear these women talking about their canned goods, I still dare to dream. POSSIBILITY OF ATTAINING: 1%

MANICURED NAILS. My hands are a national tragedy. Constantly either all cut up or in some state of healing, my hands are not the hands of a pampered office worker. I mean, how do I do it? It’s not like I’m a farmer…but my hands look like I am. I don’t have beautifully trimmed, shaped and polished nails. I have hangnails and unpolished nails and a frightening amount of hair that grows on my knuckles. Surely I could do better. I’m not even hoping for some kind of acrylic set up that is always perfectly polished…all I want is some decent shape and to stop biting my hang-nails. You’d think I was 12 years old. POSSIBILITY OF ATTAINING: 50%

“I MADE IT MYSELF!” Oh man…the accomplished seamstress or cook or scrapbooker or quilter or woodworker just brings me down. I love looking through those “how to” books and in my fantasy life I can do ALL of these things. I love to receive them. Sometimes I even half-heartedly try to do these things…and sometimes I even have limited success. But, it seems like when it comes down to a competition between watching Survivor or learning to quilt, Survivor always wins. I could try to come up with all kinds of excuses…but, at the end of the day I have come to the conclusion that I may be missing the obvious…I’m just kind of lazy! Well…if wishes were changes…you know the rest. I must get more focused! It’s ridiculous! Just wait til this winter…I swear I’m busting out my knitting needles…just you wait! And, my sewing machine is still all set up downstairs just waiting for me to stitch up some pillows…or that torn apron I swore I’d fix a year ago…or, well…you know. POSSIBILITY OF ATTAINING: 75%

Monday's Highlights on Thursday - October 4, 2007

Well, today was actually kind of boring. The kind of day where I ate my lunch in my car with the windows down while reading a decorating magazine (a whole magazine on storage…really, what could be more inspiring) and listening to the Jim Rome Show on the radio.

So, I’d hate to serve up the bland dish that was today when a steaming serving of activity it sitting back there on Monday. So, here are Monday’s highlights on Thursday.

I got a call on Friday afternoon that the CEO would like me to go with him to Indianapolis because he was “nervous” about being interviewed by INdiana Business Today. See, he’s going to Indy to help our oldest dealer celebrate their 85th anniversary in business and in partnership with us. I can see why this would be terrifying. When I think of all the heads of state, celebrities, and glitterati that Gerry Dick (host of INdiana Business Today) has interviewed, I can see why my boss would be apprehensive. It sounded like a really good use of my day. Of course I agreed to go.

We all met at the jet at 7:45 a.m. on Monday and upon touching down in Indy headed to the zoo (really), where the dealership’s employee celebration was taking place (in the dolphin house….really). So, with lots of water but no dolphins in sight I settled in for some weak coffee and shellacked pastry (really, this dealership owner makes millions – he couldn’t spring for some better grub?) and listened to the parade of speeches and the presentation from the zoo director and then the CEO provided his “colorful” remarks. Then the big employee drawing! What was on the line? Airline tickets? Electronics? Gift Cards? Um…no…Zoo tickets!!! Woo and Hoo!!! I mean, I like a good zoo as much as the next person but again, could they come up with nothing better?

Then I hop into the car with the CEO and the dealer owner to head to the dealership for the big interview. Sitting in the back seat while the men talked and, understandably, ignored me, I felt like I was on a business trip with my dad. I guess I’ll always feel like I’m 12 years old in these kinds of situations. We arrive at the dealership and as we walk in the door I’m assaulted by waves of cologne…not hideous cologne…but aggressive nonetheless. Who is the drenchee?? None other than Gerry Dick!! Live and in person!! Oh my. Cologne AND a golden tan. Love it. Hand shaking, back slapping, mutual admiration, and game faces ensue. After a 15 minute interview that is so softball the interviewer is actually throwing underhand (it’s a good thing I was there to help out in this stressful situation), Jim and everyone else leaves for the rest of the day’s activities. Except, see, I don’t have any other activities. It is 10:45 a.m. and all my activities are done. Of course I have piles of activities back at the office that are begging for completion. But here in Indy, I got nuthin. Oh, and since it’s the big 85th, they gave the employees the day off, so it’s a totally empty dealership.

Is it downtown where I can maybe walk around or find a coffee shop? Or even near a strip mall for a bagel or something? Um…not so much. It’s in an industrial park…by the highway.

The first 15 minutes just flew by.

The next 300…not so much.

The business owner and his wife (wife #3…the former receptionist, now VP of Marketing…but, whatever) were kind enough to take me out to lunch. However, at this lunch I was informed that “nobody cares about the environment – it’s just a bunch of hooey…really, it’s all just the flavor of the week…why do they keep pushing the environment?” And then he several times identified people as “minorities” – as in, “you know who I mean…Brian…the minority.” Oh my.

Later in the day I took a scenic stroll around the industrial park…oh, those distribution centers are certainly lovely…and check out the loading dock on THAT building! That just takes the cake! Oh, I just love interacting with nature as I’m serenaded by the hum of the expressway.

At 5:00 the cocktail party celebration for customers began. Realizing I would have absolutely NO ONE to talk to at this thing I hid in the empty conference room until 5:30. I just didn’t know how long I could survive as the wall flower. At 5:30 I came out and took a little shrimp cocktail. So beautifully presented. A little bowl with one giant shrimp skewered on a fork, gently nestled in a dollop of cocktail sauce. So elegant...so charming…and, with the help of that fork, so easy to eat! Right? Um…not so much. I took one bite and couldn’t quite bite through it…and couldn’t get it off the fork…and then it flopped off the fork and dangled from my mouth as I tried to break it off, and I tried to hold onto the little bowl, and the fork, and with the other hand pull off the shrimp…it was a powerful way to start the party. I think it really established me as a playa. People looked at me and were totally impressed.

Small talk, small talk, small talk…toasts aplenty…the CEO got up to speak again…and Gerry Dick joined the group on-stage to present some general thoughts on Indiana business (which he read off a card…tsk tsk)..and then, at 7:00…back to Grand Rapids. I watched a show I had downloaded to my iPod while the power brokers broked around me on the plane…and finally was back at home.

Thursday Highlights - September 20, 2007

Well, as I sit here looking out the window at a perfectly perfect Michigan September afternoon I have to admit I’m having trouble concentrating on the task at hand. Or any task. What I really wish I was concentrating on was a book, as I sat outside in the warm – but not hot – sunshine, sipping the season’s last lemonade.

Boo.

I hate this desk job.

Today I actually woke up basically ready to face the day. The windows were open, so the air was just the tiniest bit chilly, but refreshing. The hardest part was really that it was so dark – the worst part of fall.

I would like to say that I was highly motivated by my work for the day, the opportunity to contribute to helping Steelcase be the most powerful contract furniture brand in the world, or even the chance to be a loving example to the most adorable baby boy in the world. But no. What got me to throw back the covers and hop in the shower was the prospect of a morning meeting at the Learning Center where I could get free coffee…and that someone on our team is celebrating a birthday, so there would also be free breakfast snacks. That’s a little pathetic. But hey, it worked.

Langston was playing coy and just kind of looked at me when I went to pick him up out of his crib. He was all…yeah, I’m awake, but don’t expect me to cheer for you. I got some extra delicious snuggles in before stripping him down for his shower.

He’s taken to rubbing his hands in his hair as he’s eating. That meant that last night’s cantaloupe and avocado had given him some nice matted sections to his hair. Into the shower with Jeff he goes! He actually doesn’t mind this too much – except for the part where he goes under the spray to rinse out the shampoo. But oh my word, when I grab him out of the shower with a big, fluffy towel he is irresistible. I just can’t stop myself from pinching those adorable buns and smooching the bottoms of his pink feet.

After dressing him and feeding him and throwing him back in his crib so I could finish getting ready, I turned on the Mary Poppins soundtrack. Since we play music for him at night when we put him to bed, I purposely turn on his “morning music” loud, keep the light blaring, and try for something more danceable, so as not to confuse his “cues.” Man, I should write a book or something. It’s this kind of thoughtful parenting that is making Langston the well-adjusted child he’s become! Anyhow, whatever I play for him in the morning will be in my head for the rest of the day. So, all day I’ve been hearing “spoonful of sugar” in my head.

Work started with an intro to Second Life. Steelcase has a “store” there and one of the guys who works on this gave us an intro to not only Steelcase’s store, but the concepts behind Second Life. OK, that is whack. The fact that millions of real dollars are being spent in this “virtual life” is just crazy! But, it was pretty interesting to hear about – even if I do still wonder why we care if a bunch of freaky virtual lifer’s learn about Steelcase. But, then again, I’m old.

Mmmmm. The French Roast coffee was so good. So was the coffee cake at the birthday party. Yum, yum.

I went back to my desk to log onto the earnings conference call only to remember that I had organized a conference call of my own for the same time. OK, I’m officially a moron. Fortunately, everyone else was late, so it seemed like everything was planned. Jeesh, get it together, Hill.

Lunch was the weekly order of chili…sitting in the sun…thinking that I should have maybe just gone home and started dinner. I’m not very good at providing good, healthy meals for my family. Pretty much, the dinners have been feeble.

I went through phase of cooking crock-pot meals in an attempt to not only make a good home-cooked meal, but also to not have to come home from work and cook an entire meal. That resulted in several week’s of meals with very similar scorched, mushy, unappealing results. So, I gave up on that.

Discouragement led to many take-out meals, turkey sandwiches, jars of spaghetti sauce, and frozen pot-pies.

But I’m back, folks – with fresh enthusiasm and a new plan. I went on the Southern Living “freezables” recipe site and printed off like 10 that looked good. I figure that if every other week I make 4 meals…and eat only about 1/3 of each meal at a time and freeze the rest, then I’ve cooked 4 meals and got 12 for my efforts!!! Pure genius, I tell you. In just a few week’s time the freezer will be packed with nutritious, delicious meals!! So…last night I made a big pan of macaroni and cheese and tonight I am planning to get home and make some meatloaf. I can’t guarantee that I will be able to maintain this energy level – but, like I said, this could be the key to one week of work yielding three weeks of meals. We’ll see.

Since it’s so beautiful out I am also hoping for a long walk with baby and husband. This time of year I feel like we can’t waste even one nice day.

PS - it's my wedding anniversary on the 23rd -- so the photos are in honor of the blessed event!

Thursday Highlights - September 13, 2007

Well, I’m back in the office after my 4 day trip to Boston. I have to go to a professional development conference/seminar each year and in the past I have pretty much stuck to ones that focused on communications. This year I decided to do something different and go to a class on investor relations. Since I support that department I thought it might be helpful to learn a little bit more about the subject – or at least get to know the vernacular enough to fake it better in meetings.

If you’re anything like me, when I’m at off-site classes, I am certainly not dressing up for the occasion. Hey, I don’t know any of these people, I don’t work for them or with them, we will likely never see each other again – who am I trying to impress? Um…not so much with the finance types! Out of the 120 or so attendees, at least 80% of the men were in full suits…I can’t tell you how long it’s been since I’ve been around a bunch of men in business suits – as you know, the man’s wardrobe here in GR consists almost entirely of different colors of khaki pants (the rainbow of colors that lie between “desert stone” and “nutmeg.”) paired with short or long-sleeved golf shirts. It was actually kind of cool and I found myself enjoying the care they took with this more formal approach, that indicated a respect they must have for themselves, their work, and those around them. I was kind of digging it.

But then, just as I’d settled my black cropped pants-clad behind into the ballroom chair and pressed my knit shirt against its back I took a look at the women! I would say that 95% (the percentage of the total women in attendance minus me) of them were dressed to the NINES! Pencil skirts in muted tones drew the eye down toward what had to be $300 shoes with ice-pick thin spike heels. Their clear polished nails nonchalantly toyed with strands of pearls or thick gold ropes. Tailored blouses were perfectly tucked in over flat stomachs. Smooth, conservative hair styles framed powdered, unblotched skin.

Let’s just say that I was not only the most casually dressed person there (even the wait-staff wore formal uniforms) but I was definitely among the most full-figured. Frump-o-rama in both attire and physique. Boo!!! I hated those women who are not only named Barbara and Lynn and Elizabeth and Carolyn but work out for 3 hours after nibbling on a dressing-free salad…this was definitely not my crowd.

I immediately hated and regretted every item of clothes I brought with me, wondered when I last even cracked open a package of pantyhose (I think it was in 2004 for a wedding), realized I had a hand full of hang-nails and that I could no longer breathe from sucking in my gut so hard. I also took off my name-tag as I didn’t really want anyone to know exactly who I was or where I was from.

I knew I hated numbers…why did I have to go to this seminar and discover even more reasons to hate them?

Oh well. Inner poise…confidence that comes from within…this would be my mantra for the next three days. That, and a refusal to make eye contact.

At least I had Jeff. He found all kinds of great places to explore in the evening and, in total Jeff style, we took subways, busses, hiked, all over town to get there. Among other things we ate “the best cheeseburgers in the world” in Harvard Square, souvlacki on Newbury Street, and Cuban sandwiches in Jamaica Plain. We also did a little shopping, took a tour of the Samuel Adams brewery (I’m not a beer drinker but it was kind of interesting to learn how it’s made), and watched the Cubs baseball game. He also kept me from taking things too seriously (No, you’re not a frump! No, you shouldn’t throw all these clothes away…Yes, finance people DO stink…really).

For some reason we got on the topic of “red eye” in photographs and I told him that I’ve never “red eyed” – that my eyes are just too dark – that it just has never happened. Of course he didn’t believe me and spent the whole trip trying to catch me off guard and get a picture of me with red eyes. Not only did this produce a number of wildly unattractive photos (which isn’t helping the old self-esteem, buddy) but it also meant that I saw a lot of Boston’s sites through the veil of flash-bulb after-effect (thanks, Holquist). And, I’m happy to say – he was never able to do it. He was beyond perplexed – I finally just confessed that I am, in fact, an alien and that finally explained the mystery.

Also, every time we left or returned to the hotel we had to greet/say good-bye to Catie, the hotel dog. She was a beautiful black lab, I have to admit, and sweet as could be. The hotel rescued this service dog that developed cataracts. You can take her for walks…play with her…it was actually very cute. Jeff is such a sucker for a pet.

And we had really good luck coming home. We got bumped onto an earlier flight to Chicago – and bumped into exit row seats (which on United you usually have to pay for but provide leg-room extreme!) and we also got moved to Economy-Plus (the plus is for legroom, baby) seats on the Chicago flight to Grand Rapids. I can’t really complain.

Things I learned at my seminar:

1- where the New York stock exchange is (11 Wall Street)
2-that PR people are “jealous” of IR people (PU-LEEZE! As if…)
3-that NASDAQ is totally virtual, with no trading floor at all
4-what an 8K, 10Q, 10K and proxy are
5-the importance of transparency, disclosure, compliance
6-the meaning of “buy side”, “sell side”, “ask”, “take” and “shorting”

..totally worth it, huh?

And, things I learned about Boston:

1-they love their rain boots. I can honestly say that in all my fall/springs in Michigan I’ve seen maybe two people, total, sporting the rain boot. There, it was literally every other woman! Every time I pointed it out Jeff would say, “But it’s raining!” and I would then have to say, “But it rains in Michigan and no one wears them there!” -- Riveting conversation, eh? Anyhow, I actually think they’re pretty cute and would try to start a fashion trend here in GR except I’m afraid they would be one more thing that would painfully grip my calves in an unattractive way.

2-their subway system is the oldest in the nation and I am not at all surprised. I felt like I was riding a gutted underground city bus…it lurched and squeaked and moaned and shuddered and bounced from side to side in these super narrow tunnels…I pretty much just had to close my eyes and pray for the best. Although it didn’t help when Jeff added, “and they have the most accidents as well…debris falling from the ceiling, hitting the sides of the tunnel or other trains…” Again, not surprised…and thanks, Jeff.

3-there were just tons and tons of people of Asian descent. I couldn’t really tell if they were Asian or Asian-American - just that there were so many of that ethnicity. I was really surprised – I just hadn’t realized that Boston was such a hub for Asians. Interesting.

And now, I’m back at work and happy to return to routine and, particularly, the most adorable little boy in West Michigan. I love the smell of him, the sound of him, the sight of him, the touch of him…oh, it’s good to be home!