Monday's Highlights on Thursday - October 4, 2007

Well, today was actually kind of boring. The kind of day where I ate my lunch in my car with the windows down while reading a decorating magazine (a whole magazine on storage…really, what could be more inspiring) and listening to the Jim Rome Show on the radio.

So, I’d hate to serve up the bland dish that was today when a steaming serving of activity it sitting back there on Monday. So, here are Monday’s highlights on Thursday.

I got a call on Friday afternoon that the CEO would like me to go with him to Indianapolis because he was “nervous” about being interviewed by INdiana Business Today. See, he’s going to Indy to help our oldest dealer celebrate their 85th anniversary in business and in partnership with us. I can see why this would be terrifying. When I think of all the heads of state, celebrities, and glitterati that Gerry Dick (host of INdiana Business Today) has interviewed, I can see why my boss would be apprehensive. It sounded like a really good use of my day. Of course I agreed to go.

We all met at the jet at 7:45 a.m. on Monday and upon touching down in Indy headed to the zoo (really), where the dealership’s employee celebration was taking place (in the dolphin house….really). So, with lots of water but no dolphins in sight I settled in for some weak coffee and shellacked pastry (really, this dealership owner makes millions – he couldn’t spring for some better grub?) and listened to the parade of speeches and the presentation from the zoo director and then the CEO provided his “colorful” remarks. Then the big employee drawing! What was on the line? Airline tickets? Electronics? Gift Cards? Um…no…Zoo tickets!!! Woo and Hoo!!! I mean, I like a good zoo as much as the next person but again, could they come up with nothing better?

Then I hop into the car with the CEO and the dealer owner to head to the dealership for the big interview. Sitting in the back seat while the men talked and, understandably, ignored me, I felt like I was on a business trip with my dad. I guess I’ll always feel like I’m 12 years old in these kinds of situations. We arrive at the dealership and as we walk in the door I’m assaulted by waves of cologne…not hideous cologne…but aggressive nonetheless. Who is the drenchee?? None other than Gerry Dick!! Live and in person!! Oh my. Cologne AND a golden tan. Love it. Hand shaking, back slapping, mutual admiration, and game faces ensue. After a 15 minute interview that is so softball the interviewer is actually throwing underhand (it’s a good thing I was there to help out in this stressful situation), Jim and everyone else leaves for the rest of the day’s activities. Except, see, I don’t have any other activities. It is 10:45 a.m. and all my activities are done. Of course I have piles of activities back at the office that are begging for completion. But here in Indy, I got nuthin. Oh, and since it’s the big 85th, they gave the employees the day off, so it’s a totally empty dealership.

Is it downtown where I can maybe walk around or find a coffee shop? Or even near a strip mall for a bagel or something? Um…not so much. It’s in an industrial park…by the highway.

The first 15 minutes just flew by.

The next 300…not so much.

The business owner and his wife (wife #3…the former receptionist, now VP of Marketing…but, whatever) were kind enough to take me out to lunch. However, at this lunch I was informed that “nobody cares about the environment – it’s just a bunch of hooey…really, it’s all just the flavor of the week…why do they keep pushing the environment?” And then he several times identified people as “minorities” – as in, “you know who I mean…Brian…the minority.” Oh my.

Later in the day I took a scenic stroll around the industrial park…oh, those distribution centers are certainly lovely…and check out the loading dock on THAT building! That just takes the cake! Oh, I just love interacting with nature as I’m serenaded by the hum of the expressway.

At 5:00 the cocktail party celebration for customers began. Realizing I would have absolutely NO ONE to talk to at this thing I hid in the empty conference room until 5:30. I just didn’t know how long I could survive as the wall flower. At 5:30 I came out and took a little shrimp cocktail. So beautifully presented. A little bowl with one giant shrimp skewered on a fork, gently nestled in a dollop of cocktail sauce. So elegant...so charming…and, with the help of that fork, so easy to eat! Right? Um…not so much. I took one bite and couldn’t quite bite through it…and couldn’t get it off the fork…and then it flopped off the fork and dangled from my mouth as I tried to break it off, and I tried to hold onto the little bowl, and the fork, and with the other hand pull off the shrimp…it was a powerful way to start the party. I think it really established me as a playa. People looked at me and were totally impressed.

Small talk, small talk, small talk…toasts aplenty…the CEO got up to speak again…and Gerry Dick joined the group on-stage to present some general thoughts on Indiana business (which he read off a card…tsk tsk)..and then, at 7:00…back to Grand Rapids. I watched a show I had downloaded to my iPod while the power brokers broked around me on the plane…and finally was back at home.