Thursday Highlights - Friday Edition - August 31, 2007

Well, Thursday got away from me so I had to wait until today to contemplate yesterday.

I guess the big thing that happened was that I learned that Langston does not share my enthusiasm for bike rides. Or at least he did not share it last night.

I love a good ride around the neighborhood – I’m not militant, but when I’ve got This American Life in my ears I can’t hear my own wheezing panting (which depresses me when I do other forms of exercise)…also, I feel like a 10 year old again when I’m screaming down a hill at a million miles an hour, and have to resist the urge to really lean my head down between the handlebars to really get streamlined…and, it does give me a great opportunity to monitor the action on a variety of abandoned houses around SE Grand Rapids (oh ho, there’s a notice from the city on 1942 Plymouth….look at the height of the weeds on 321 Orville, that house must be abandoned...I see they finally posted an eviction notice on the house on Mulford…etc.) So, I had been thinking all summer of getting Langston out there with me. He enjoys walking around in the stroller so much I thought that he would REALLY get a charge out of riding along in the buggy!

So, after being donated a tow-behind buggy from a friend and buying a baby helmet and getting all the tires inflated, buggy cleaned, etc. – we were finally ready to go.

Of course nothing is as easy as it seems. I tucked Langston into the stroller while I got the whole bike contraption ready to go. I thought it would be so easy. Langston tried, unsuccessfully, to not be judgmental of my efforts as I struggled, tugged and despaired while bumbling my way through attaching the buggy to the bike. Two bikes, one wrench, one cut finger, numerous splashes of sweat, and one hammer later it appeared that we were at least equipmentally ready for action.

Langston’s confidence level seemed low as I wrangled him around into the buggy. Not really sure of which straps went where I pretty much just used all the straps available to pin him in. He was particularly unenthusiastic about the helmet. But I was not to be deterred…this was going to be fun! We were going to ride like the wind…laughter and joy were mere moments away!!

The first thing I noticed as we set out was that towing about 40 pounds does add an element of difficulty. I’ve been riding all summer…but I never had to start out in such a low gear just to get going. I was sure that it would get easier as I got used to it. Bwahahahahahahaha.

The second thing I noticed was that Langston was not, shall we say, loving it. For the first 3 blocks or so he alternated between grim endurance and wails of protest. But again, I was sure that as soon as he got used to it he would LOVE IT!!!

Yeah….as I started up the big hill at Plymouth that extra 40 pounds was really kicking in.

Yikes…am I only about a quarter of the way up? I’m dying here!!!

Oh man…I’m only half way there and I’m already in the lowest gear…the audible sound of my panting is stopping traffic.

Yay!!! Gasp…gasp…gasp….we…gasp….made…gasp….it….gasp….gasp….Lang…gasp….ston….gasp...whew…gasp.

I never realized how uneven the sidewalks are until every major break we went over made Langston bellow out in despair every time we went over one. So, for every 30 seconds of resigned silence there was another 30 seconds of loud complaint…and that doesn’t even count the piercing cries every time we stopped to cross a street. If we were moving, bump-free, then he could somehow stand it…but dare to stop or go over a bump and you’re gonna hear it, mom.

I kept looking back to see if he was OK and he was just kind of slumped…alternately crying and silently begging for mercy.

I kept thinking that he would start to like it….and that I would somehow get used to being the horse in the horse drawn carriage scenario…I kept waiting for it to become the idyllic vision of my imagination…when I realized it was just not ever going to happen I turned around and slowly headed for home.

About a mile from home Langston realized that he would have to amp up the complaints…so his irritated yowls of displeasure turned to shrieks of rage. So, imagine me sweating, beat red, muscles shaking…towing this buggy of howls…and having to pass my neighbors out for walks, children playing in their yards, families at the picnic tables eating ice cream…let’s just say they weren’t nodding and smiling in approval.

When we finally got home Langston had passed through despair and rage and was now just limp. The river of snot that had poured from his nose was now flowing all around his pacifier and into his mouth…his face was all blotchy and hot…his eyes were swollen and empty…all he could muster was the occasional “sniff…sniff………..sniff” as he noodled into my arms. I felt just terrible!!! Bad idea!!! Langston had a horrible time!!! I’m a rotten mother!!!! I tortured my child!!!!

After a glass of cold milk and some animal crackers the light started to return to his eyes. When his dad came in he gave him a grateful smile and lots of hugs and snuggles as Jeff took him to put on his PJs. He brought him out to give mom and hug and a kiss….and Langston wasn’t quite ready for that yet. He gave me a small, forgiving smile…but he wasn’t quite up to surrendering to my care at that point….his expression said, I think I’ll stay with dad right now if it’s all the same to you.

Um…maybe I’ll just take some solo bike rides for the next little bit.